6:45am - June 16th

6:45am - June 16th - What was the weather like? I really have no idea. I wake up to "Ethan, wake up I'm pregnant." My half asleep response? "How'd that happen?" Well of course I know HOW it happened. And we were kinda sorta maybe partially a little bit trying. Ideally we wanted to move to an apt that is closer to the ground or with an elevator and a little less pricey first. But okay, here we go!

Surprisingly Katrina throws the pregnancy test away as she prepares to go to work. The decision to actually go to work took a moment, of course. "Aren't you going to save that," I said. I mean, this is someone who saves just about everything from Chrstmas cards to bracelets made of string. I later retreived it from the garbage so I could take digital photos of it. The pregnancy test photos prove as a fun way to IM friends.

Ironically, I set out to the unemployment office for this manual orientation where you learn things you already know -- like, posting your resume online is a GOOD thing. I do crosswords.

Most of the day is spent going online and starting to learn what Trina can take to prevent my child from having three eyes or one arm. FOLIC ACID is the key to everything apparently. Every site I go to, it's all about Folic Acid, Vitamin D, and for God's Sake not too much Vitamin A! MSN.com family and parenting website seems very helpful. Lots of questions answered there, if you pay for them. Though they do show you the long list of questions they answer:

Can I eat deli meat?
Can I use a dildo?

So we're assuming she's around 4 weeks pregnant at this point. But we don't know for sure until we go to a doctor. She took that pregnancy test with the sheer power of female ESP. She wasn't late, she wasn't puking, she just knew. It helps that she's surrounded at work by many women who have been through this recently. Apparently, her extreme fatigue this week got the gaggle of girls talking. And Katrina loves taking pregnancy tests. Well, doesn't love it, but does take them more often than most women, I believe. 1 day late? EPT run, Walgreens STAT!

Last time I was buying an EPT for her they were in a locked box next to a new product, Male Fertility Test. Hmmmm, interesting. A plastic stick with 5 holes in it which I assume you, ugh, fill. FOR EXTERNAL USE ONLY, it says on the package. Well, yeah, what the hell do they think I'm going to do with this thing?

Back to day one. I go to the store to buy the essentials:

Organic milk and cottage cheese -- Calcium! Or your baby won't have bones! -- Organic! We don't want the child to come out like me, 9 lbs. Roids!

Pulpy Orange Juice -- Vitamin C! Couldn't hurt, right? Pulpy makes it less acidic, Katrina is having chronic heartburn from her new family way.

Prenatal vitamins -- Organic! Make sure there's not too much Vitamin A! Flipper babies! And in my absentmindedness, I pay for them and leave them on the counter. I make it all the way into our apt before I realize. This turns out to be one of many events that prove my mind is currently elsewhere.

Pickles & Ice Cream, and Red Roses -- Because it's funny and true, and women go awwwwwww when she tells them.

When Katrina gets home I whip out the video camera to record her reaction to the display of items on the table. As I do my Paul Thomas Anderson tracking shot in one take, I accidentally step on our cat. She lets out a scream and I say, "Well, I guess this is the beginning of us ignoring our pets."