Psychosomatic or Symptomatic

We're only five days in and Katrina is already experiencing a galaxy of symptoms. Some are hereditary, like the chronic heartburn -- her mother had that too. What’s the most interesting one so far is the heightened sense of smell and how it can dictate your appetite, or loss thereof. We decided to go into Manhattan for dinner because I had an appointment at 8pm that was going to last about 5 minutes. That, and the organic Cornish hen in the refrigerator no longer kept any interest for the ever-changing appetite.

As we’re going over the Williamsburg Bridge, it’s all about meat. Meat, meat, meat. I don’t recommend any restaurants yet because I have a feeling that after my appointment, meat will no longer be on the menu. I try to be careful about hard turns and potholes – I mean, why help the nausea right?

On the way up 6th Avenue we pass a Victoria’s Secret right next to a maternity clothes store. “Boy, that’s just mean,” Katrina comments.

I get out of my appointment and oddly enough, the casting person tells me I should try out for Dad roles. Interesting because not only had I never heard that before, but he didn’t even know of the forthcoming bundle.

So we settle on Peep downtown. A Thai place. Named so because of the one-way mirrors in the bathroom. You can see the people eating while peeing, but they can’t see you. This is one of those places that has the open kitchen where you can hear, see, and more importantly for this story, smell everything they’re making. This waft hit Katrina like a brick. I was busy procuring my free matchbook and pen, because...well, they were there. Then the nausea set in and the cravings were long gone. The bathroom wasn’t to be far from this moment. During my horseradish ceasar salad appetizer, Katrina was in the bathroom. “I probably shouldn’t sip her ginger ale,” I thought, “she needs it, and besides, she can probably see me through the one-way mirror.”

She forced down the entrée, and we were out of there.

Now, I thought these kinds of symptoms came later in the pregnancy. I’ve already heard the “My breasts feel swollen and bigger. Are they bigger?” question. Quick, get the cocoa butter. It prevents stretch marks. Yeah right. You walk around smelling like a fudgcicle though, which can be pleasant. But alas, only knowingly pregnant for less than a week and we’ve already got heartburn, fatigue, dry heaves, breast swelling, and cravings. “I didn’t know pregnancy was going to be this hard,” she says. “I want to skip to nine months from now.” These sentiments were, chronologically, very close to the sweet utterings of “Ethan, I want a baby.” Now I hear “This is all your fault.” Ha Ha! We’re progressing very quickly.