Get a Hobby

I used to make fun of my father because he would have these hobbies that seemed all-consuming. It wasn't a passing fancy. It was full-on and neck deep with all the accessories. You can almost map out his life chronologically from these phases, from my point of view. Allow me to list them and then generalize my memories of them for comedic purposes. There was:

The Diving Phase - Live lobsters crawling around a NYC apt. The cat was very curious.

The Space Shuttle Phase - He'd get press passes for close-up access to launches and return with slide shows put to Vangelis music.

The Workout Phase - Nautilus equipment and Bruce Springsteen records.

The Hunting Phase - Stuffed birds on the wall and a homemade shotgun shell crank. "Don't forget to add the wad or daddy will blow his face off."

The Sailboat Phase - A 40th birthday present to himself and learned all the lingo like close hauled, broad reach, and boom vang. Can your dad sheet bend and half hitch knots?

The Japanese Phase - Feng Shui and dark red furniture, lamps, hiragana, kanji.

The Dog Phase - Raw turkey necks in the meat grinder at dinnertime. They had better rain parkas then I did.

The Culinary Phase - Utensils, cookware, and spices that are used for one specific food.

Though I jest, I ultimately benefited by osmosis and inclusion in these. The older and more parental I get, I see these less as something to poke fun at and more like something to consider for myself. In your 20s, your hobbies are socializing. You go out, meet up, end up at their apartments until the wee hours. Then people start to move away or move on and while you're still friends with these people, they don't exactly make into your calendar as often. Not that I ever kept a calendar. Then, what do you do with yourself? Of course, you play with your kids and take them places. We even took her to a few parties and she did great! But the mind seeks more stimulation than Merry-go-rounds, Pooh, and zoos can offer. I can see how men turn to obsessing over sports or playing golf. There's distraction, activity, and camaraderie all rolled up into one. I'm not a big fan of sports or golf or model trains .... yet. I guess my father gets extra points for keeping his hobbies interesting. Aside from socializing and perhaps acoustic guitar, I can't think of many things I've done that qualify as a hobby - unless you count acting off-off Broadway. I scuba dive, but only on warm vacations. We traveled a bit, but can't as much now. So what it boils down to is I Need A Hobby. For now, it needs to be inexpensive, not keep me from home, and feed my brain. The banjo? Violin? Smoking meats? Yodeling? Pimp?