Horrible, Horrible Freedom

I went to Portland, Oregon last week to visit some close friends that moved out there over the summer. I also got a chance to see an old High School friend as well. The operative word here is "I" because the journey was embarked upon entirely by myself. That's right! I left the toddler and the pregnant wife at home - and they say chivalry is dead?

The reality of it was that the trip was planned a while ago, initially slotted for the Spring. I was waiting for the weather to get nice and for my Corporate AmEx to accrue enough points to convert into a plane ticket. The points came through early because no one at my job likes to use their AmEx and the new baby on the way made a Spring departure more complicated. We decided that the ideal time for me to go would be during the early 2nd trimester. By then, Katrina doesn't have morning sickness anymore and she's not uncomfortably big. I left on a late Wednesday and came back on an early Tuesday so she'd have weekend assistance and not 5 straight days of single parenthood. It also became apparent that if I didn't go soon, I wouldn't be going anytime in the foreseeable future. Leaving a mom with TWO little kids is a bit of a dick move.

There. Now that I've got my justifications all lined up it's time to say how awesome it was!

The house I stayed at was on Hawthorne Blvd in the Southeast section of Portland. It was very much like the Village/Williamsburg Brooklyn of Portland. The major difference being the less pretentious hipsters. Brooklyn Hipsters look homeless from the neck up and wear $300 jeans with a 27" waist. Portland Hipsters look homeless all over and aren't quite as emaciated. They're big on used clothes, a-hem, I mean "vintage". I've never seen so many used stores in one place. And it's not just clothes. There's furniture, miles of books, electronics, bikes, movies, those giant 70s era porcelain ashtrays with the fifteen divots - when you want everyone to smoke. One store, House of Vintage, is literally 13,000 square feet. There were a lot of dogs and a lot of bikes. Even bike racks on the front of the city bus. Friendliest service ever. From the gas attendant to the waiters, everyone was super nice. Best oysters ever - actually ordered seconds for dessert much to the amazement of my gracious hosts. And oysters are always more fun in Shooter form - in a shot glass with cocktail sauce and lemon juice. I enjoyed the unique venues like the Bagdad where one can have dinner, then move into the $3 theater with a beer in tow - the seating rows all having tables and service.

Then there was nature. Mount Hood, Multnomah Falls, and Roslyn Lake Park:







Note to anyone thinking of walking to the top of Multnomah Falls - the 2nd largest waterfall in the U.S. - you can't see the waterfall from there! I guess we kinda knew that, huffing and sweating uphill for a mile on switchback trails, but at the time we had a "because it's there" attitude. That was quickly replaced with "Why the fuck did we walk up here?" But, now we have stories, I suppose. I think my hosts got their nature fill to the point where the sight of a babbling brook induces cold sweat and heart palpitations. They're still asphalt people.

What did I learn from this time away (other than that I still have an annoyingly high tolerance to alcohol)? I realized that I hadn't yet become a programmed parent. I didn't wake up and feel weird not having a diaper to change or bottle to warm up. Nor did I feel relieved. I missed everyone at home a lot, but you may have trouble convincing my hormonal wife of that. Sometimes we only spoke once a day. The time difference proved to be challenging when it was time to say Goodnight to Alina. Now Katrina needs a spa weekend to be fair, but she gets the DTs when she overnights away from her little one(s). Maybe after she stops breastfeeding so she can eat sushi and bathe in Pinot Noir.