Disney's Happy Endings

No, this isn't a post about good 'ol Walt and his interludes with Thai hookers. Though that probably happened too. This is about a series of short books that Disney put out using their classic characters and calling it "Happy Endings". These books are for small kids, thus the cardboard pages, and the set that we got as a present includes Cinderella, Beauty & The Beast, and Snow White. It even comes with a CD so one can listen to whimsical music while reading.

Now allow me to point out the ridiculous, especially with the book titled "Snow White: A New Beginning". The 17-page (two sentences on each) story opens thusly:

"Snow White was a lovely princess who lived in a castle. She was kind and generous, and her heart was filled with joy." - Okay, that sounds Disney-ish, right? She has to run into the forest to escape the Queen's evil plans. We don't know what plans those are, but who cares? There are dwarfs to meet, after all. So she sings to some birds and rabbits and finds the dwarf cottage. She cleans the dwarf cottage and falls asleep in their beds. You remembering this so far? The (now nameless) dwarfs come home and "decide to let her stay". I'm not skipping around here. They really cut to the chase. The last three pages go like this:

"The cottage was transformed! Every night, the Dwarfs would sing and play their instruments for Snow White. The Dwarfs were glad to have Snow White live with them. Because of her great kindness, the Dwarfs soon came to love Snow White."

"Snow White was so happy to have found the Dwarfs. When she first ran off into the woods, she had cried, as anyone would. But she didn't give up, and she found a new home."

"In time, Snow White left the Dwarfs to marry a prince. But she often thought of her dear friends in the woods!"

The End? That's It?? No apple, no mirror mirror, no witch, no dying, no saving kiss??? What's the point of this book???? I'll grant you that the witch in Snow White is arguably the scariest antagonist in all of Disney Cinema. But why change it that much, with all the titles available to make into books. I mean, they all have happy endings anyway. But they've reduced this to a story about girl who runs away, moves in with seven men, and cleans up after them. Oh and by the way, one day she marries a prince.

I shudder to think what other stories will get the same short shrift treatment. One day, George Bailey was sad on Christmas. But then his neighbors came over and his daughter played the piano and everyone was singing and happy and George realized that he really did have A Wonderful Life.