Ad Nauseam. In 4-D!

Two dimensions wasn't enough. Three dimensions? Surely you jest. America wants FOUR dimensions! We went to an aquarium in Norwalk, CT over the weekend and they had this 5-minute ride/movie featuring Spongebob. You know, because it's an aquarium and Spongebob .... lives in the ocean. It's about as appropriate as having a My Little Pony ride at a Rodeo. Anyway, the ride consists of you sitting in this box with about 20 other people and watch a 3-D movie while your chairs throw you about to simulate the corresponding screen action. The goal is to give you the feel of being there. I guess the thwacking about is the 4th dimension. While I love roller coasters and any carnival-variety spin n' barf ride, I typically don't do well on these things. I guess it has something to do with the randomness of it and not seeing the path of movement ahead of time.

While I was parking the car, Katrina bought tickets to this ride. She's pregnant, Alina's is one, and I traditionally hate these things so I couldn't figure out why we were fated to do this. I was later informed that the warnings about the ride aren't posted where you buy the ticket, just at the ride itself. It's more of a legal disclaimer than a warning. Everyone is trying to cover their ass from getting sued. Please do not ride if you're pregnant, experience motion sickness, have heart conditions, back/neck problems, vertigo, ingrown toenails, hemmoroids, ocular bleeding, fisticuffs, nipple splinters, and the list goes on...

Then, we heard that you can choose to have your seat turned off, so you wouldn't have to experience what yet another sign called "Violent, Aggressive Movements". My fears were suddenly replaced with the eagerness to see Alina watch a 3-D movie for the first time. We were able to have both our chairs silenced, as they could only do it in pairs.

Surprisingly, Alina kept the glasses on despite them being too big for her head. I didn't really watch the movie - something about a pickle falling out of a Crabby Patty and getting away. When the first 3-D reach-out-and-touch-it moment happened, Alina put one hand on the side of her head and the other over her nose and said "Oh No!" Like, she wanted to cover her eyes but also couldn't look away. All around us, people in their chairs were being gimbaled and thrown about in a way that made me very happy that we weren't one of them. That action, combined with the 3-D, overtly loud speakers, and real bubbles being released completely turned reality on its head (in the eyes of a nearly two-year old). What world must this have been? Unfortunately, Spongebob and his pals had to be attacked by a robot with a circular saw for one arm. "We've clearly descended into hell," I thought. It was over fast enough. She didn't seem to hate it as much as I thought. The lights came up and she yelled "Bubbles!" as they were still floating around. Then, had a bunch of incoherent stories to tell Mommy who was waiting outside for us. So, I guess now we have to wait for the 5th dimension, where they skip the lines and the tactile, blunt-force experience and just download the ride directly into your brain.

She threw up about two hours after, but that later proved to be unrelated to the ride. But it did shed some light on how little she actually chews her food. Whole Penne pasta and clementine slices? Reminds me of a dog I once had.

3-D hangover baby below: