Evolutionary Trailblazer

Yeah, that's me. That's my title. That's my burden that I take on for all humanity. I am personally taking on the responsibility of evolving the human race to the point where they'll need less sleep to function. It's a slow process to be sure. But I'm evolved. I have no wisdom teeth. Had no use for them. They never showed up. They were introns to my exons. But hey, aren't they all? Yeah!

I'll keep sleeping less and less ... for all of you. It's okay. I'm used to it. Then perhaps one day, a few hundred thousand years from now, you'll all only need 28 minutes of sleep per day to make it through. I'm sure there'll be lots on cable then. But medical science, with all their lasers and machinery, will probably make a pill that you can take when you go to bed to get 8 hours of sleep in 4 hours. The body will do what it needs to do, just faster. And then the stores will be open longer. And we'll have more time on our hands to buy stuff, if I do prognosticate so myself. But I'm the evolutionary trailblazer. And I want to do it naturally. Take that, Pfizer.