Don't Do Anything Ever

I'm always giving instruction to Alina in telling her what NOT to do. Don't touch that, don't leave that on the floor, don't step off the sidewalk without holding my hand, don't headbutt your sister, don't eat your boogers, etc. I started to notice that this bombardment of common sense instruction had seeped its way into my everyday life too. Take my commute for example. A mixture of announcements both live and recorded decree:

Hold onto the handrail, please face forward while riding the escalator, stand clear of the closing doors, step away from the platform edge, do not walk or ride between subway cars, for your safety please do not block the doors while the train is in the station, be aware of your surroundings, your bags are subject to search by the NYPD, strollers and push carts and pull carts are not permitted on the escalator, avoid the sides of the escalator, have a safe day, and (our own brand of freakout) If You See Something, Say Something.

No wonder no one listens. After a while it all becomes white noise. If I actually paid attention to all the warnings and cautions meant for people like me, I'd conclude that the world thinks I am inconsiderate and stupid. One can only assume that all of these instructions came as a result of some numb nuts doing just the thing they're warning against. I wonder how much money gets spent to legislate stupidity. Dipshit 'A' decides to ride on the outside of the train and gets turned into beef stew. Then, state lawmakers have to take the time to make a law against doing so. They make signs telling us not to do it and automated voices tell us not to do it. Oy! On the upside for the state, most stupidity laws are fineable if you're not dead afterwards - like texting while driving.

I invite you all to see what dumb laws are on the books in your state. These are mine http://www.dumblaws.com/laws/united-states/new-york.