Ramping Up

Ramping up aka getting ready. That's one of those amusing "biz speak" phrases I've learned in my various office monkey jobs. Like, "I'm gonna have to give some push back because I simply don't have the bandwidth to work in this pipeline or operate in all these verticals." We are officially swimming in baby paraphernalia. It looks like someone is moving in, which I suppose has a ring of truth to it, if you replace UHaul with Uterus. Our living room has piles of bags and boxes, jingly fuzzies and fluffy jinglies. Katrina's co-workers told her there wasn't enough stuff on the registry - HA!! At this point, a hardcore reorganization of the closets is at hand. Maybe now she'll let me throw away all that random lotion and body butter.

Pretty soon we're going to have to pack the bag for the hospital. Ms. Lamaze teacher gave us this long list of items to include, some of the less obvious being CDs, games, pictures to focus on, chapstick, a handgun, 12 hard boiled weebles, and a tambourine. We also have to remember to bring that cord blood kit to the hospital.

The baby registry got a nice chunk taken out of it this past weekend, in some cases repeatedly. We got three nipple sterilizers. Most humans only have two nipples. Two diaper champs, a nifty garbage pail with a relatively airtight rotating lid that acts like the bulletproof divider money thinger from a taxi. For now, we have a garbage chute in the hallway of our building so I'm hoping to just use that. The super is going to love us. Other assorted duplicates will probably be brought back. With the objects we're returning, we may have enough store credit to buy the electric breast pump, maybe a changing table. We actually tried to get the table this past weekend but they were out of stock. As is the entire eastern seaboard, we soon discovered. So, while there we bought a giant bottle of Dreft, baby laundry detergent. Apparently, washing baby clothes with store brands like Tide and Cheer cause your baby's skin to bubble and smoke and eventually fall right off.

You know, gazing upon the giant pink baby pyramid of loot in our living room has made this experience feel very real all of a sudden. I think I'm drifting back to the panic from the first trimester. I'm going to be a father? Surely you jest. This is some kind of clerical error, right? I feel like I know nothing, mostly because I don't. We all have our little fantasies about how you're going to play with, love, and fairly discipline your child. But that's not even a tenth of it. Thus far, I've successfully busied my mind with planning, registries, accounting, iPods, and work. But, eventually I need to get my game face on. Like, soon. Honey, call an audible. I'm going deep.

Third Trimester Digest

Katrina grunts and says "God!" while I'm sleeping. I wake up and ask her what's wrong and she says that she's too big and can't get out of bed to go to the bathroom. So, I push her over on her side so she can swing her legs onto the floor.

Alina gets hiccups about four times a day now. While being cute and apparently very normal, I feel bad because I want to help somehow. Like, I want to reach in there and pat her on the back or something.

We're already preparing a menu of items for Katrina to feast on when she's post partum and ready for it. Cappuccino, red wine, sushi, stinky cheese, diet coke with lemon, pate, morel mushrooms, and assorted items that give her terrible heartburn while pregnant like marinara sauce and spicy foods. She'll probably pump a few bottles and save them for the weekend.

She's now up to a size 10 in the feet and has taken to wearing shoes that have no backing so she doesn't need to bend over to put them on. That, and it helps when her feet are swollen at the end of the day. P.S. Walking Company rules!

Getting impatient. Want this baby to come now! Feels like she's been pregnant for a year. Time is moving very slowly. Expectation does that.

Baby gains one pound a week now and Katrina is starting to put away foot long subs - with chips!

Nesting. I woke up for work and found that the apartment had been cleaned sometime between 12am and 8am the previous night.

The family baby shower is next weekend. Where do you keep a nipple sterilizer? We're gonna need a bigger boat.