Gone Baptizin'

I should probably mention that we got Alina baptized in the Catholic Church. I'm fairly neutral on organized religion in general since my parents were Jewish and not Jewish (Protestant or something. I think my Grandmother became a Mormon so those nice boys would paint her barn). But you know, I've never understood why the phrase half Jewish is an acceptable way to describe oneself. How can you be half a religion? 4 days of Hanukkah and a pine shrub in December?

Anyway, we dressed her up in Katrina's old christening (or Xstening for those who celebrate Xmas) outfit from when she was an infant. So that was a nice tradition to continue. They sat us up in the front of the church with several other couples plus godparents. Then Alina took a big dump about halfway through. Is that good luck? Myself, I was willing to wait until the end to change her but Katrina showed me the quantity and consistency of this new arrival and sternly warned, "The priest is going to lie her back over the holy water and it's all going to spill out." Hmmm, as funny as this would be to me personally, it was decided that we leave our seats and do a mad dash change. Wipes and clothes flying everywhere, the priest is doing another round of chrism oil and will soon get to our empty chairs. I hear my father say No pressure from the congregation. I don't know why we were rushing. It's not like if the priest passes us we get canceled or something. The rules, and there are just a few with Catholics, don't include staying in your seat the whole time. We're dealing with infants here. It's bound to happen.

So, we get back up there, get oil on her forehead and chest, then it's over to the big holy bowl thinger (did I mention I had to lookup Original Sin?) and Presto! With a wave of a hand, a few words, and some God Juice, Alina no longer has to bear the burden of that bitch Eve eating the apple. Yes, I'm cynical. But I'll say this. We have been incredibly lucky or blessed with Alina. Always smiling, very healthy (knock on wood - my religion), and just about the Cutest. Child. Ever. If Katrina quietly praying at night while pregnant had anything to do with that, then baptizing is the least we could do.